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| February 2008 »
A high-school sophomore just asked in the comment section if Champlain is a good school for writing.
I'd like to answer this question as well as I can. In terms of a general writing major, Champlain's program exposes you to just about every aspect of writing, from full-on creative works--the kind of stuff that you need to reach beyond the depths of your soul to write--to full-on hard news journalism. The professors I've had have been creative and challenging, and the overall curriculum had helped contribute to "world citizen" sense of self.
We don't have a B.F.A--yet, but I can't say that my time in the writing program has been absent of lovely, and creative work. On that same note, my time here hasn't been devoid of extremely helpful classes and advice from professors on how to really live out "the writing life." And I'm not talking about "hey, kid, get a job at Starbucks, you're a writer," I'm talking about lessons in how to take work you believe in to publishers, look them in the eye (virtually or not) and get your work out there.
The professional writing major has put me in the pilot's seat of my life as a writer, now it's up to me to fire up the engines, grab the controls, and let ambition be my map.
Comedy OFF the Main takes place every Wednesday night in the most bar in all of
Montreal. By bar, I mean room. No more the size of the average college classroom, not
lecture hall—classroom, the modestly appointed bar has 1. a bar 2. two kinds of drinks:
cheap local bottles of beer, and rum 3. a flat-screen t.v tuned into the 24 hour Canadian
game show network 3. a touch screen juke-box no one uses 4. some tables and chairs.
At 8:30 pm, or 20h 30, depending on your lingual persuasion—English or French, the
MC takes over the small floor space in front of the door, asks everyone for five bucks,
and someone in the back hits the lights, dimming the beige room to only a single spot on
the mic. The “audience" hems and haws, a few people hack, feet squeak against the gray
tiled floors, wet from melted snow, and the MC gets to know the room.
“You, in the back. What's your name?"
“So and so."
“Hi So and so. Witty remark, (a few people chuckle) Where are you from?"
“Alberta."
“What do you do?"
“Go to school."
“Witty remark, really? How many people here are in university?"
(the crowd moans, a few raise hand begrudgingly.
The cycle repeats itself until the crowd is “warmed up." An act comes on, sips a
beer, gives a schtic, gets laughs. And so it goes. The MC takes drink orders from around
the room while other comedians do their bits.
The door is opening and closing all night as people go out front for a smoke and
come back. People shed layers and put them back on, the heater keeps cycling on and
off between moments of absolute hell-fury and post-apocalyptic, frozen absence. Too
many people for such a small bar. All the windows are heavy with the visible humidity. It
smells like people, not b.o per say—it is a night out after all, most everyone has
showered presumable within the last few hours—it just smells like people.
“O.K. Well it seems as though holocaust jokes have been the theme tonight. Let's
bring up our second to last act for tonight. One of the founders of this room, she's been
working the clubs around Montreal, and was prominently featured last season on NBC's
'Last Comic Standing.' Give it up for DeAnne Smith!"
I don't know if any of you guys have every watched "Last Comic Standing," which is a great show, and if you did, see DeAnne, but she is hilarious. My words don't do her presence justice, try You Tubbing her, it's worth the ten seconds it'll take.
Alright, so I had all but promised myself to make this posting about how much I hate Montreal, that it's because I hate big cities, blah, blah, blah.
But instead of being able to sincerely write that I am displeased with being here, I decided to go for a walk...
My first stop on my walk was going up St. Laurent street, home of some funky hang-outs and the Portuguese Quarter. Whilst there, I found a small boutique that sold what looked like ex-communist bloc army surplus supplies. After that, I needed a cup of coffee, so I hung a right down Rue du Rachel, and not even one block down, a row of windows began to advertise caffeinated beverages. I decided to go in. It ended up being not the funky coffee house I expected at all, but indeed, another dark pool-table bar with an espresso machine.
I ordered a coffee. "No coffee, espresso."
"Okay," I said, thinking to myself, "duh, I did the Italy thing already, I like espresso just fine."
All I have to say about that is, best-cup-of-espresso I've had back in North America.
So I kept walking, and decided not to stop again unless it has something to do with a personal passion. I have many personal passions, so this could have been a very busy walk, but I soon came upon a very "Busy World of Richard Scary" bicycle shop. The only sign advertising that it was a bike shop was a green and yellow giant fiberglass pair of handlebars with a working headlight. Totally sweet.
Inside, I met the lone person in the store, the on call mechanic, and began to have a conversation at length about all things bikes these days--fixed gears and bike theft. I soon noticed that his English was beyond impeccable, it was indeed regional. I asked him if he was from Montreal originally, to which he replied, "Tronno."
Which I understood to be his regional diction for "Toronto."
One block later, I saw the only sign in all of the city practically that had exclusively English written on it. Amazed, I moved in for closer examination, "Comedy OFF the Main. Wednesdays, 8:30, Beer $2.50"
Well this had to be an English stand-up gig, and even if not, there should be some interesting characters there; anyway, $2.50 beers? Why not?
On my walk back, I stopped at a Portuguese bakery and asked for the house specialty, which was a very charming little tort thing with an egg-creme filling--very good.
Back at the UQAM dorms, I settled in for the moment, unsure, but excited for what awaited me "OFF the Main" around 8:30.
Alright. So I'm from Jersey, what am I doing 'Jersying up Vermont?!
Well, let's go back to my thought process way back in 2004...
"Hmm, got to go to college. Let's see here, oh look a big college book!"
"Alright, uhhh, I like snowboarding, a lot, therefore I need to look at colleges in snowy places."
"Ooo, look at that, Vermont eh? I think I have a cousin there. Maybe I could visit a few small colleges up there and crash at his joint."
That very spring break, I took my first road trip. Five hours later, I was in Richmond, VT visiting my long-lost cousin. I hadn't seen him for years, and I had forgot how much of a gas he was! That week we hit the slopes and looked at Champlain and Johnson State.
I ultimately chose Champlain for its location in downtown Burlington, an area of Vermont with an actual population. Don't forget I'm a Jersey boy, whether I like it or not, not Grizzly Adams. Although there can be days when I wish I could just go live in the woods...
Questions? Comments? Concerns?
Shout me a holla if you want more specifics...
Bonjour!
Have any of you out there in blog reader land ever played with Legos as a child?
If so, did you ever have any sets from the Space Police?
If still so, do you remember how when you looked down the top of those neon green plastic windows, or antennas they seemed to light up?
Ok, if your still with me, check this out:
The lobby in my dorm here in Montreal has entire windows made out of that stuff!
Oh, did I forget to mention that I'm in Canada for the semester? Woops. Well, I am. This sesh in Quebec is my second study abroad experience, my first trip with a Champlain sponsored program. Last spring, I traveled to Siena Italy for four months with a third party program, learned some Italian, ate some pasta, drove some Vespa, you know. Anyway, while I'm here in Montreal, I plan to pick up some French, eat some local cuisine (beaver tail?!) and ride some Metro.
P.S, that isn't me... I'll post his name when I learn it!
Besides that, stay tuned, the madness has just begun.
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