It is remarkably difficult simultaneously to live life and to record it.

The six days I've been overseas seem like six months to me but my wife is already annoyed that I keep calling asking what's up in St. Albans, hoping she will ask about me so that I can ramble on about minutiae for half an hour. Fortunately, we talk over the computer and she can shop while I expostulate.

The August 2008 issue of Discover Magazine has an article that claims the brain can speed up, slow down and even reverse time. Carl Zimmer describes a study that indicates "Staring at an angry face for five seconds feels longer than staring at a neutral one."

If this is true, I have been extending the lives of hundreds of people who have had to look at my wrathful visage this past week. But I can explain.

As is my habit, I was complaing to my family about the myriad of injustices I have had to suffer as I explore the coasts of history this beautiful month of Temmuz in the former Byzantine capital once known as Constantinople.

I whined, "Gee, I don't want to give readers the idea that the world is a brutal, unpredictable, dangerous place. For the most part, I am having the adventure of a lifetime, but that receptionist at that first hotel..."

"Oh stop it, Papa," interrupted my level-headed Canadian daughter, "Say what you want - the good and the bad. You never intended to write 'Chicken Soup for the World Traveler'. So, life has warts, what else is new? Stop being such a baby, Cowboy Up and get on with it. Jeeze!"

Who taught that girl to talk to her beloved father like that?

Oh, yeah right, nevermind.

Here's the short version. I arrived at Schiphol Airport just 18 clicks out of Amsterdam on Wednesday morning, after a truly memorable Delta/Lufthansa flight.

The plane was half full so I was able to sleep in that strange, twisted way that one does when belted into an aisle seat while the center of gravity of one's large, puffy body was mostly in the window seat and the armrest neatly bisecting the spine.The screaming of various children drowned out my snoring so I was able to nap with a clean conscience.

The service was stellar, the food fantastic (Geroostde kipfilet met polenta, bonen, mais en paprika. Even the brood and boter were fresh and tasty. You can see why I love the Dutch language), real silverware, free wine and the in-flight movie,with Matthew McConnaghy and Kate Hudson was...did I mention that the food was wonderful?

My body landed thinking it was two in the morning. I called the Valk Hotel to learn that I couldn't check in for two more hours, unless I wanted to pay a 15 Euro early arrival fee.

Hmm, I thought, this is different.

I showed up anyway and offered to sit in the lobby grimacing until my room was ready, but Mynheer Bosma decided it would be better for the other guests if I went upstairs. 

I complimented him on his fine English, adding that I knew several Netherlanders who spoke several languages well.

"Dutch people like to make money," he explained.

My next entry will expand on this theory.

Ken