Never take our free press for granted.

Now that I am safely under the protection of VT law, I can write freely about my experiences in Turkey without fearing that I will run afoul of Article 301 of the Turkish penal code, to wit:

* A person who publicly denigrates Turkishness, the Republic or the Grand National Assembly of Turkey, shall be punishable by imprisonment of between six months and three years.

* A person who publicly denigrates the Government of the Republic of Turkey, the judicial institutions of the State, the military or security organizations shall be punishable by imprisonment of between six months and two years.

* In cases where denigration of Turkishness is committed by a Turkish citizen in another country the punishment shall be increased by one third.

OK, I'm safe on the last one, but the first two are actually pretty scary. The law is, of course, much milder than the Alien and Sedition Acts signed in 1798 by President John Adams, but it did cause me to choose my words very carefully while I was overseas.

I don't really have anything awful to report, but no country is without fault and I feel obligated to share a few caveats with my fellow Americans.

The food caused me no problems, except for the one time on a late night bus when I gulped down a large glass of frosty Ayran (roughly like light, salted buttermilk) and a large can of sweet cherry juice - visne suyu, a delightful beverage.

Unlike the first class airlines they so closely resemble, Turkish long distance coaches do not have "air sick" bags and towels are virtually unknown. The attendant brought me three tiny paper napkins but the rest of the tale is best left untold.

As I mentioned earlier in this blog, bathroom use costs either 50 cents or a dollar everywhere one goes, and the only object to dry your hands is either a six inch square of copier paper or a four inch paper napkin. Fortunately, the open air works like a hand dryer, so this is not a big problem. Toward the end of my trip, I realized you don't HAVE to give the man or woman behind the counter any coins. They won't chase you down or call the police, but it is their main source of income so, if you have a conscience, you will pay up.

However,I was stood up, clipped, shorn, scalped, overcharged and taken for a ride on more occasions than my ego will admit, but I don't blame the Turks. I just didn't understand the rules.

In America and Europe, goods and services have a posted price. If you don't like the charges, you go to a different store and hunt for bargains.

In Turkey - and hundreds of non-western countries - the price is the bargain. If you pay too much, it is your fault and the vendor feels more glee than dismay. Get over it.

Here is a short list of my bad choices. I hope you benefit from the missteps that followed my simple, American naivete.

When my plane arrived at the Ataturk airport, the Metro had stopped running for the day and the hotel would not send a car for me because I had booked a special price through a travel agent, instead of paying the extra $10 I would have been charged online.

The "only" cab charged 30 euros ($60) for the twenty minute ride to the Yigitalp Hotel. This was quite entertaining, however, as the driver was eager to introduce me to a "Ukraine woman, very good, very good" an offer I was easily able to decline.

At my lodgings everything was as advertised,except the Free City Tour and 7th night free, were also not available to me because of my method of booking.

I rode out to the airport the next morning for $1.20 on the Metro.

As my colleague, Gary Scudder, pointed out in his blog, there is an apparently universal conspiracy of taxi driver which involves stopping the cab every ten minutes to "ask directions."

This always involves a great deal of random pointing and a nice tour of whatever city you are visiting.

Even with my very limited Turkish, I could figure out that my driver was not really asking for directions to my hotel, but actually more or less requesting strangers to point to their favorite sights in Istanbul.

To avoid this particular scam, make sure your driver calls your destination BEFORE you climb in - they all have cell phones - and that he gets specific directions from the desk clerk. Also make sure the meter is running and that the cheaper "day" rate is indicated, rather than the 100% greater "after midnight" rate.

My greatest humiliation, however, happened on day three when I decided to treat myself to a manicure, pedicure and top flight haircut.

Taking the advice of the concierge, I walked fifty meters to the nearest Kuafor and cleverly negotiated the "mani-pedi" down to about $30. The lovely Ziynet did a careful and gentle trim and so I figured I'd let her husband, Fazil do the hair, beard and shampoo.

Admittedly, it was the best haircut I've ever had. He used scissors, straight razors, electric clippers, strange tools for trimming my moustache, nose and ear hairs and six kinds of lotions. It took him close to an hour to wash, cut and dry every folicle on my head. He served me tea and offered me cigarettes.

When he presented me with a bill for 40 YTL (about $33), I felt is was a bit pricey, but worth the experience. The next day I learned the going rate was much closer to $10. I had been scalped.

The next two stories did not happen to me personally, but I'm including them as fair warning to others.

Restaurants often have menus without prices. The bill you get at the end depends on how well the owner likes you. This worked in my favor as I am friendly to the point of obsequiousness. When you tell the waiter that "Turkey is beautiful. Turkish people are kind" enough times, you often get a 20% discount and lots of free tea.

Unfortunately for one of my friends, this had a downside. She enjoyed a dinner for four in Datca with wine, six courses, dessert and tea and the bill was $20. Two weeks later she and different friends returned and one of the male guests got into some kind of argument with the chef. This meal cost $200.

When the price is not agreed to in advance, you really don't have much leverage when it comes time to pay the piper.

A young Brit, Larry from Bristol, sitting two seats over from me at a pub told his drinking mates a rather loud and elaborate story about being approached by a very friendly guy name Darvoush who invited Larry to join him for a beer or two and to meet some lovely young women. Larry went into the Parliament club and was immediately seated next to two ladies who told him how handsome he was and how they always wanted to meet a man from Great Brittain, etc, etc. A waiter filled the ladies' glasses with red wine and then later with what looked to Larry like ginger ale.

When Larry tried to leave twenty minutes later, the waiter presented him with a bill - I am not making this up and I can't vouch for young Larry's veracity but I've read about stories like this before so I believe him - for 600 YTL!!

In Larry's version, he was immediately surrounded by thugs who made it clear they would accompany him to an ATM to settle up, but he made a huge fuss, dropped some bills on the floor and escaped with his honor intact.

Whether this story is true or not, it kept me away from friendly strangers and any form of alcohol for the rest of my trip.

OK, I'm still stinging from the times I was overcharged for batteries, trinkets, food, the infamous haircut and my two taxi rides, but they were all a very small price to pay for the best adventure of my life so far. Here's what I learned for my money.

Don't accept "No problem" as the answer when you ask "How much will this cost?"

Get a menu or list of charges in advance - in writing

Make sure your cabbie has his meter turned on and knows where he is going before you get in.

Be prepared to haggle over every transaction. I hate to argue about prices but it really is expected in a surprisingly large number of situations..

Be friendly and don't take it personally if someone tries to separate you from your money. It's all in the game and, after a while, you might actually enjoy playing.

OK, that's all I have to say that is in anyway negative about the Republic of Turkey. The vast majority of people were kind, friendly, helpful and more or less just like me. Travel with an open mind and a generous spirit and you will have an amazing time.

I know I did.

Ken

PS: My next and probably final blog entry will deal with a course I plan to teach which is tentatively named "Minority Report: Assimilation, adaptation or isolation. How minorities cope with life in a dominant culture and what we can learn about peaceful coexistence from their experiences."

Stay tuned.

K

Posted by Ken Wade at 9:12 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

It is beautiful here.

I am typing these words from a terrace overlooking Kargi Bay, an idyllic inlet dotted with yachts, schooners, cabin cruisers, sailboats, wind surfboards and, I'm just guessing here, pirate ships.

A gentle sea breeze mitigates the rays of a blazing Mediterranean sun beaming from a nearly cloudless azure sky. The braying of semi-wild donkeys is the only sound wafting up from the ruins of thiok-walled houses built by early Ottoman Christians and Moslems. The daily calls to prayer are too distant to intrude on an appreciation of this verdant rock strewn oasis.

The colorful town center is about 5 km down the mountain, an easy 30 minute walk, or a 15 minute direct taxi ride costing between $8 and $20, an adjusted sliding scale which depends on your facility with Turkish, your perceived net worth and your level of friendliness to the cabbie.

As ever, on this trip, I am primarily fascinated by the people I've met and by the unique and unforgettable stories they have to tell. The leisurely pace of life in this idyllic paradise provides plenty of time to listen to all of them.

Soon, deeply tanned local children will be splashing in the neighbors' pool, and Svetlana will set out cheeses, fruits, chai, lavosh, preserves and several kinds of bread for Professor Bill Hansen's and my first meal of the day.

Afterwards,Bill, American University of Nigeria, and I will relive memories of the Civil Rights Movement - he was the SNCC lead organizer for Arkansas in 1962 - and Svetlana will bring us strong coffee. Bill will proudly show us pictures of handsome, infant multi-racial grandson and regale us with anecdotes about his recently ex-monster-in-law, Ludmilla, the dragon lady.

I am very fond of William, but his stories of love are tinged with poingnancy and loss.

"When my third wife, Irena (Ludmilla's daughter), learned she had not married a rich American, then the "age thing" began to be a problem", he told us wistfully. Now that Bill is teaching in Nigeria, he has fallen for a fully-covered, Muslim lady with dance-like movements and a laughing voice.

In the two years he has been enthralled by her, he has never seen her face.

Our lovely hostess, Svetlana Khamarova and our mutual friend, former Champlain Vice-President, David Huwiler, are the owners of this incredible villa on the south coast of Turkish Antolya. One can see the Greek Island of Simi across the straights and Rhodes is a half day away by ferry.

Svetlana is a brilliant and beautiful Russian/Kyrgiz young woman who speaks several languages and who is pursuing an online graduate degree while simultaneously dividing her time between Blagoevgrad, Bulgaria and Datca, Turkey.

As a teen-ager, Svetlana was honored by being sent to Moscow to train in a prestigious swim program for Olympic hopefuls. She didn't quite make it to the "Big Show" but some of her classmates did. "Svets" as Bill calls her, is one of the kindest, most thoughtful people I've met. She walks, swims and climbs daily, tends to a house full of visitors and still has time to read "Foucault and Chomsky Debate, 1971" as well as "Sex in the City."

The "locals" I met were largely employed in the tourist industry. German/Turkish couples running restaurants, craft shops and restaurants as well as young people selling, renting or cooking every conceivable item a visiting Spaniard, Italian or Istanbullar could want.

Gary, our globe-trotting neighbor to the North, speaks fluent Australian,Turkish and German makes a good living buying land and building mansions which he re-sells to wealthy Europeans.

He has traveled the Trans-Siberian Express from Japan to Moscow, he taught English in Germany,hitchhiked from Sidney to Singapore and from Vermont to Venice Beach. He worked for some time as an educational program developer for Mercedes Benz inTurkey. Note: M-B is slowly transferring its truck and coach factories from West Germany to Ankara and beyond.

Gary operates his converted natural gas 1986 Nissan/Datsun B11 "Sunny" sedan like a typical suicidal speed racer, but he can get us into town in between three and six minutes, depending on the wild burro population on the two lane road on any given day.

The neighbors to the south are "Ropp" and Jeannetta who spend most of their summer swimming and sunning only to return to Rob's growing student apartment rental operation in Utrecht for the academic year. Rob owns two houses in Datca, a large house in the Netherlands and another in Spain.

Rob, one of eleven children of a window washer, had built a multimillion euro office cleaning empire until his older brother sued him for control of the company. Within two years, Rob lost everything, his fortune, his wife, his home and his self-confidence.

His life improved when he met the "love of his life" but she was killed in an automobile accident and he had to start all over again. He is now with the lovely Jeannetta and her 16 year-old son.

Today, less than a decade later, his rentals have grown from four small apartments to more than 180 properties. It would be the American Dream, except it happened in Holland.

This afternoon, I will celebrate my 61st birthday with cake, paper hats, colorful banners and a soak in the Jacuzzi with half a dozen new pals. Facebook "friends" can't really beat the flesh and blood kind, .

It will take me several weeks after I return to VT to sort out all the adventures, obstacles, discoveries, misfortunes and joys I've experienced this summer, but, oddly enough, I can't wait to get home and to get started.

Allahaısmarladık, salaam aleikum and may all your travels bring you joy,

Ken Wade

Posted by Ken Wade at 12:08 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

This blog has been temporarily delayed due to an incident involving lost luggage, rain, getting lost in an unfamiliar city, not having my reading glasses, being an idiot, losing the address of my hotel, unspecified, embarrassing medical issues, and general dweebiness on the part of Ken Wade.

Everything is back on track, however, and I hope you will continue to follow the adventures of Clueless in Wonderland.

OK, Istanbul is a fabulous city with enough excitement, adventure, history, wonder, and variety to occupy the mind and body of any reasonably sentient human being for a lifetime. When you are tired of Istanbul, you are tired of life, to misquote Dr. Johnson.

Therefore, it has become time for me to hop on a long-distance coach and spend some time getting to know Turkey's third largest city and second largest port, Izmir (Smyrna)

Previously, I spoke briefly about the seven hour bus/ferry ride to Izmir, the gem of the Aegean and the very kind young woman who allowed me to interview her at length, but today I want to say a few words about Efe Aydal, an aspiring journalist, teacher, martial arts expert, full-time video blogger and astronomer.

I was introduced to Efe Aydal by my daughter, Visi, who teaches Kindergarten in Japan. Apparently, this Internet thing allows people to connect with other folks anywhere in the world!

What a fascinating concept.

Efe is a recent graduate Ege University (University of the Aegean) who has served his time in the Turkish military. Because of quotas applied to his academic major (Astronomy), Efe is not allowed to apply for a teaching credential and he doesn't want to be a salesman.

He devotes much of his time to a video blog in which he furiously takes on injustice, hatred, stupid people, the government, international relations, martial arts, anime, tourists

The good news is that he had free time to introduce me to his friend, Murat Özdemir, who is on his way to being a medical doctor and whose father is an Alevi. The Alevi are a branch of Islam practiced almost entirely by Turks. Many fundamentalists do not consider Alevi to be "real" Moslems, so they have some interesting viewpoints on the rights of minorities in Turkey.

Efe and "The Doctor" met me at the Bornova metro stop in a north east suburb of Izmir where Ege University is located. They showed me the gem of the student quarter; the new Ikea.

In this shiny, modern super-store I could see Turks of all social levels deciding which aspects of 21st century life they would add to their homes and apartments. By the way, the strange looking faux-Swedish names that IKEA uses to brand all the goods don't look strange at all to a Turkish speaker.

The highlight of our conversation about secularism and religion took place in the high-tech cafeteria. Delighted by the great desserts, exotic foods and unlimited free refils on coffee and soft drinks, Efe and Murat opened a window into the lives of young, intellectual, Western-oriented citizens of the Republic.

I believe the progressive attitudes of Efe and Murat represent the future for Turkey. They don't necessarily want to BE Westerners, but they appreciate the technological and social benefits of Western society and they are not afraid to embrace the best of the West.

The next day, Efe took me to the Izmir International Fairgrounds, gave me a extensive tour of his University including a great stroll through the student quarter of Burnova and then we rode the train and ferry from one end of Izmir to the other.

DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME, STUDENTS! Champlain student Daniel Dickerson is a highly trained professional.

I'm sorry that I missed visiting many museums and archeological sites, but I loved the "ground-level" view of how people live day to day in an emerging and important, secular Moslem nation.

The International Fairgrounds in the middle of Izmir is host to dozens of world class conferences and trade events. The immaculate grounds are dotted with museums, meeting halls, striking sculpture, fountains, people having picnics and, of course, an amusement park.

Guess what my favorite part might be?

The young people I met in this vast country give me a very good feeling about the future of this pivotal, crossroad nation.

Turkey is a country to be watched. The Ministry of Trade expresses the optimistic view that Turkey will be the 7th or 8th largest world economy within the next 40 years. Turkey has untapped mineral and energy resources, a hard-working, ambitious population, tremendous national pride and, in my opinion the most important asset of all - WATER.

Efe and Murat and Kadriye are aware of their culture, history and responsibilities to the world, but they are not trapped by tradition or by ideologies which stress differences and divisions between people.

Stand up for your beliefs, your freedoms and your role in shaping a peaceful 21st century, Turkey.

America's rooting for you.

Well, at least I am. [g]

Ken

Posted by Ken Wade at 2:39 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)