Looking back on the girl who wrote “Balloons and Nametags” I am simultaneously embarrassed and proud. I’m embarrassed because of how awkward it all was. Those first few leaps, coming here, actually showing up for the Admissions BBQ, and making myself stay when I wanted to go home and hide out. I look back now and the steps look so small from the outside. It seems so lame that it was so hard for me to go to that event, and actually talk to people I didn’t know, braving the awkward small talk. But it wasn’t small. It began a journey of refusing to be bound by a lonely past. The first year did turn out to be rough for me. I didn’t really start making real friendships until May 2006 (more on that later). But those first few steps set a tone for me and they mattered.

This is why I love helping out on Welcome Week CREW. I’m so proud of the new students as they arrive. I look back and remember my own fears, and how God worked through that to bring me to such a new place in life. Then I see them beginning their own journeys. I see them show up to the elbow on the Tuesday morning of Welcome Week to get their own nametags and I want to do everything I can to encourage them in these first big scary steps. This is not because I think that all their stories will turn out like mine. But I remember so keenly the fear I felt as I approached the elbow my first time here, and looking back I am pretty sure that the decision to not go home and watch Sandlot alone changed my life. I did not see the fruits for a LONG time. There were still evenings that I did opt to stay home and not make the effort. But that first baby step starting me on a path towards bravery, community, great leaps, great failures, and great successes.

Now a short update: Still no husband, but I’ve upgraded to a double bed. I’ve got a pretty cool job that I never could have seen coming. None of the people at my table were lifelong friends. I did end up making some incredible girlfriends, but it took a long time and a lot of hard work. There’s still a lot of that awkward teenager in me that I tried to overcome, but I am learning that a strong Lord of the Rings and Star Wars vocabulary is not such a bad thing.