God,

there is this thing that you made
this vast and dynamic and utterly wondrous
expanse of creation

our smartest, in all the centuries, have only begun
to scratch the surface of understanding
what you merely spoke into existence

on the whole it is astounding
and yet each facet and aspect
is rich with its own
infinitely intricate beauty

I can but only wonder at it all
and yet in my awe at such phenomenon
I have a lingering longing
for that forgotten intimacy
in which creation once reveled

for long walks with you through the garden
in the cool of the evening

for ancient harmonies
and hymn sung by the galaxy's host

for the eloquence of the ancient tongue
by which all of creation joined in communion
speaking and dancing in magnificent sync

Oh how I long for the clarity of your presence and will--
for communication less abstract
and not so dependent upon our feeble skills of discernment

but I long, most of all, to walk by your side
my hand in yours
getting lost in your embrace
feeling you here, tangible
drinking in your radiance

Posted by Mav Jennings at 11:35 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

So I've written a few reflections but I thought I would tell you a little more about me--where I've been and where I hope to go.

As a girl I had the opportunity to go to summer camp. I enjoyed two summers as a camper and when I got to high school, my parents signed me up to go to camp as a kitchen aid on work crew. Initially I was pretty annoyed--sure they thought it was a good idea! But I was the one who would have to do the slave labor, not them. Needless to say I was not so much a "happy camper."

But something unearthly happened and two weeks later when my parents came to pick me up, I begged them to stay the rest of the summer as a kitchen aid. I'm not sure that I can actually explain what happened, but I found something I loved to do--not only that, but some seeds were planted in my heart and a vision began to develop.

Over the years that I worked on work crew, then completed a counselor/leadership training course, then worked as a counselor on staff, God developed within me a vision and a dream for working with kids in a rugged outdoor setting. But this is not your regular summer camp idea. I started a notebook full of ideas for opening a foster home on a working ranch that would serve as a sort of alternative corrections facility for youth in the justice system.

During the some 15 years since I first got this idea, I have prayed for and pursued God's direction in how to accomplish such a dream. I used some extra elective courses in college to take some classes in criminal justice and juvenile justice to test the waters and see if this was in fact something I still wanted to pursue...and my passion grew.

After college I worked as a foster mom at a youth ranch living in a home with 6-8 teenage girls raising them, teaching them, loving them, cooking for them, praying for them, and driving them here, there and everywhere! On my off days, I covered for the teen boys' house. This adventure of foster-momhood and the beautiful children that were mine for those two years gave me some of the greatest joy I've ever known and brought me some of the deepest grief I've ever endured. Through it all, the fire of my passion for working with troubled teens burned brighter and stronger.

I continued to seek God's direction for the next step, for the next piece of the puzzle in realizing my dream. God allowed me some seemingly random experiences working to help a couple open and run a gelato cafe, working as an assistant to a social worker in a dialysis clinic, changing dialysis companies to work as an office manager/administrator opening five new clinics in the city and training other area office managers. During this journey of collecting experiences and skills God slowly revealed his plan for me to come to Fuller and be trained as a Marriage and Family Therapist.

This conclusion came after considering and researching various other paths including studying business (how to run an organization), agriculture (I did want to open a working cattle ranch among other things), criminal justice (maybe becoming a probation officer was the ticket), social work (close but not quite right), and finally, marriage and family therapy (yes! that's it. That one fit just right!) And so to Fuller I came, by the grace of God who opened the doors for me and West I headed.

Throughout my training and education at Fuller, God continued to not only affirm my calling to a ministry of healing and hope through therapy, but he continued to shape and sharpen my vision. As I relished the sweet blessing of community and as I learned about family systems, God started deepening and expanding my vision. I started to think about how I could involve the entire community in my ranch. I absolutely love to cook and have always thought it would be spectacular to open a bakery & cafe; as I thought more about it, I realized that this piece could work beautifully with my ranch. The cafe could serve as revenue for the ranch, could serve as a connection between the community and the kids, could provide a place for the youth to gain work experience in a grace-filled yet no-nonsense environment, could afford youth opportunities to grow and develop talents according to their various giftings. Over time, the relationship between the youth and the community would be fostered--I especially want to focus on connecting youth with elders who have little or no family support--and hopefully we could work to train a village to raise and love these forgotten and cast aside youth.

Of course, this is all a very rough sketch of the vision and there are so many more facets and details. As I get older and continue on in my journey toward realizing this dream, God adds more layers and hues painting a more and more vivid and rich picture of the ministry he has planned for me.

My current project is working to finish my internship so I can become a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. I work at a local community mental health agency that provides mental health services for a generally higher risk population. Currently all the clients in my caseload are ages 18 and younger and have all experienced some sort of trauma or abuse in their lives. Additionally, I lead anger management education groups for adolescent boys who are on probation. The work is hard, and the realities my clients face are heart breaking. But ever resilient hope remains and I have the honor and the privilege of speaking truth into their lives and administering healing to their broken hearts. Transformation is rarely immediate, but growth and thriving are evident, and God's merciful and compassionate hand is upon them.

I struggle with impatience in these in-between times of preparation and in spite of my child-like sense of urgency to get on with things, I see the beauty and the relevance in each experience of preparation and training. Each opportunity provides me with another tool to add to my box equipping me to become the best servant I can become for the work God has created me for.

I look forward to keeping you posted on my journey. I love the opportunity to talk about dreams, whether their mine or yours so I'd love to hear about your dreams, your vision, your calling. One of the best pieces of advice I got from my college chaplain, "Never stop dreaming and never stop talking about your dream--you just never know who you're talking to!"

What is your dream?

Posted by Mav Jennings at 12:43 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Well, it is less than a month until the next round of presidential elections and I find that I have so far successfully put off learning anything about our candidates. I'm not proud of this reality of mine, nor am I exactly enthusiastic to right the situation.

I'm not entirely sure what accounts for my serious aversion to understanding politics. Maybe it is my passionate pursuit of truth that steers me away from truth-bending banter between candidates; maybe it is that I never really grew up around heated political debates; maybe it is because I had a less than enlightening experience in a ninth grade political science class. In the end however, I cannot escape a conviction that I have been given rare privilege and I am called to be a diligent steward of such a gift.

I feel the weight of the reality that I am a woman who has the freedom to participate in the political decisions of our nation. How many women around the globe wouldn't love such a luxury? Even as I do my research tonight to learn about each candidates' platform, I am learning more and more about how women are still fighting an uphill battle for equality. I used to think it didn't really matter, that I was pretty happy with my life and I didn't need to get involved with politics, or women's issues, or taking a position on education or healthcare. But then somewhere along the way, a girl became a woman and everything started to matter.

I work with clients in the school and I see the decrepit state our public school system is in; I am a master's level professional earning less than some men who barely have a high school education; I am a mental health professional whose very calling in life is governed by states' legislature--as are the very programs that help my clients receive the resources they need to keep their families together and healthy.

Everything around me is effected by politics--even the air I breathe. I have a responsibility to myself and to the generations next to no longer remain ignorant.

But where do I start? I checked out some websites tonight: National Platforms and Vote Gopher. Both sites had each candidates positions on major issues; Vote Gopher showed the comparison side by side. I finished reading with no less clarity on the issue. When I read each candidate's platforms separately, I kept thinking, "Oh that sounds good," or "Yeah, I'm all for that!" And each one seemed to sound positive and helpful. When I read the side-by-side comparison, I found myself leaning more in one direction than the other. But even so, I found I had to do even more research to understand the bill or act is that each candidate is either for or against.

It is a fact that we live in difficult and complicated times politically--both globally and domestically. The older I get and the more aware I become of what is going on in the world the more tempted I am to flee to some unmapped island and live the life of a hermitess blissfully ensconced in ignorance. As delightful as this may sound, several things prevent me: my conviction that God has placed me on this globe at this time as a woman with all of the giftings and passions I possess for a specific reason and purpose and my first responsibility is to be obedient to His call; my work as a therapist--especially one who has a particular heart for kids in the foster and justice systems--demands my diligence to be an informed participant in the legislation that not only mandates my position but the programs that help or hinder my clients; my conviction that while so many women continue to be silenced around the globe, I have a rare opportunity to use my voice for change, for healing and for hope and to remain silent and ignorant when given the chance is to insult my sisters around the world.

I confess freely that I am still painfully ignorant and I ask for grace as I work to educate myself about the things which matter not only to me, but to the generations that come after me--the generations starring up at me with wide and wondering eyes.

Posted by Mav Jennings at 10:50 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

A timeless and oft referenced scripture passage took on a fresh new meaning for me this week. The passage is in Matthew chapter seven:

"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's or sister's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother or sister, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's or sister's eye." --Matthew 7:3-5

Now, I have heard this passage many times throughout my life but something new snuck up and caught me by surprise...or maybe its that I'm not the same woman hearing this passage this week as I was all those times before?

I was challenged by this passage because I am now a therapist and part of being trained as a therapist is learning to see things in people's lives and make sense of those things. We learn how to understand the symptoms we observe and how to make sense of them in order to help clients see such things within themselves so they can work to change the things do not contribute to health and wholeness. In essence, part the work of my ministry is to help people find the proverbial specks in their eyes.

At first I found this kind of responsibility daunting in light of the Matthew 7 passage, especially when it talks about hypocracy. But then I noticed something I hadn't before:"First take the plank out of your own eye and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother or sister's eye," (vs. 5). How had I missed that?!

This passage is not about never helping someone to a healthier life; its about making sure we are healthy first so we can, "see clearly" to help others. The work we do in our own lives to discern the places in our own hearts that need cleaning, healing, and strengthening creates an authenticity with which we can speak loving truth into others' lives.

I'm challenged to be obedient to continually making myself available to God and to others to be held accountable to the areas in my life that need work and it affirms the wisdom of professors and mentors, I heard during my first days of orientation and throughout my experience at Fuller, that in order to be a healthy, resilient, and thriving therapist, I must continually do my own work in my own therapy.

Christ models for us the idea of being a wounded healer--it lends credibility to our work as therapists allows us to be approachable as ministers of hope and reconciliation. But our work will be tarnished if we fail to continually clean out our own eyes first.

Posted by Mav Jennings at 7:24 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)