A Slice of Humble Pie
Has this ever happened to you: You read a quote you've read or heard a million times before, but this time something jumps out at you that never did any other time you encountered the phrase or passage?
Well, this just happened to me. Today. This very moment actually. I happened upon the following passage from 1 Peter 3:15 which reads, "But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect..."
Now being a woman who grew up going to church, to Sunday school, to church camp, to youth group, to a Christian liberal arts college, to Fuller Theological Seminary and to a myriad of church services along the path of my life and spiritual journey, I have indeed heard this verse a time or two. I remember lessons siting this verse to punctuate the importance of witnessing to others. I remember sermons quoting this verse to challenge believers to understand more about the faith they claim. I remember lectures in Religion classes comparing the similarities among the world's faiths and emphasizing the value of understanding the hope Christ offers--the hope which sets apart a relationship with Yahweh from a relationship one might have with any other deity. As I reflect on each of these teachings, I do not recollect that last portion of the passage, "But do this with gentleness and respect," when did that sneak in there?
It is a small phrase, easily lost among other admonishments. But this one packs a powerful--and convicting--punch: "Do this with gentleness and respect." As I think about this command/caution I am grieved by how often we as a body of Christians have not in fact accounted for our hope with gentleness and respect. Too often we deal crippling blows to the spirituality of those around us with aggressive and acrid proclamations and judgments. And sadly, many of the instances of these occasions are broadcast on the news or in the media for all the world to witness.
As a therapist, I teach many of my clients about positive and effective communications skills. One of the most fundamental tools I have to offer is using "I" statements in conversation. This is exhibited when a person confronts a problem by stating how he/she feels, " I feel y, when you do x." Or, "I feel like y, when you say x." This technique--rather than the accusatory "you do x; you do y..."--is exponentially more effective in resolving conflict.
I wonder what it would be like if we as Christians incorporated more "I" statements into our accounts for the hope that lies within us? I wonder if that would help us to convey our thoughts and convictions about our relationship with God in a more gentle and respectful way? I wonder if relationship with Christ would become more attractive to others?