So after 5 months of hard work, I didn't get hired as a Resident Advisor. We had to go through a bunch of stuff...a Group Process thing, an interview, a diversity conference, an entire class with a ton of papers to write...I mean, after all that, you really sort of hope something good happens.

I think Ohio Staters go through a lot more to be RAs...it seems like at most schools, people just fill out a little application and that's it. Maybe it's because so many of us apply. I knew it was a long shot, but I really worked hard. Maybe too hard...I kind of tend to freak out when I stress out.

We got letters in the mail last night telling us if we got it or not...it seems like everyone I've met in the past 5 months has been an RA Candidate...and it seemed like all of them got the job. But after the initial disappointment in myself, I met a few others who are in the same boat and also feeling like utter failures at life.

One of the teachers of my class was a super inspirational RA that I know...he wrote our class a letter the last day of class, with all sorts of corny sayings like "You blossom where you are planted" and "Your attitude determines your altitude"...but everyone loved it anyway. Those corny sayings really do help! I did gain many student leadership skills in the class, if nothing else, and I certainly learned quite a bit about myself. Yes, I'm a little uncertain about my future now, but that's not always a bad thing. Hopefully I can find something else at the university that I'm passionate about to apply all that good stuff I learned.

That's the problem. Other than this RA Candidate thing, I don't know if I've really been in love with anything I was involved with this year. I work for Buckeye TV, and I love that kind of stuff, but we never get the hands-on experience I want and they treat us like children...it used to be so different when it was student run. Hall Council's great, but many students aren't that into it, and it makes it difficult to be enthusiastic myself. Jazz Band is nothing I haven't done before, and it probably doesn't mean as much to me as I’m not a music major. And that's pretty much it, other than a couple meaningless organizations here and there.
And of course Buckeye Diaries, which I love! ;)

I'm just looking for a little passion here at Ohio State.

(And coincidentally enough, a place to live next year...ok, ok so I'll probably be at the residence halls, but I'll be bitter about it!)