Sigh—I'm going to miss my Oxford commas. They're going to take them away. I know it. I know it because The Lantern never uses Oxford commas. They like their listed items uninhibited, clean, and ambiguous. (Note the Oxford comma.)

I emailed a near-final draft of my article to the arts editor for feedback. He said it looks "good." Good. That's all I get. But when my eyes flashed across "minor grammar errors," I forgot all about his wildly vague critique. I don't make grammar errors.

In fact, I correct them—especially The Lantern's several gross illiteracies, which appear in their papers every day. So naturally, I emailed him back all panicked over my alleged grammar errors.

It turns out they weren't grammar errors, just style errors.

Frankly, I'm insulted. I like my style. I've never had negative feedback on my style; I've only had it complimented. My past teachers, my friends, my family—no one has ever told me my writing has lacked style. I got this blogging job, didn't I? There must have been something that set me apart from the 115 other applicants.

Anyway, I'm writing an article about Apple's Insomnia Film Festival that I'm hoping will be published. It's a time-sensitive article; it needs to be published before Friday. And if The Lantern's editors "correct" my article incorrectly, I swear I will be furious. I won't be able to live it down—an article I wrote containing grammar errors that I didn't make. I spend so much time criticizing The Lantern. I can't afford to be crushed my the same machine I've been crushing all year long; I can't take that defeat.