For some reason I have been very, very restless. For a couple of weeks, I've been so distracted by so many things from my boyfriend to that pretty leaf on the sidewalk just dying to be crunched. Being so distracted by my surroundings, I have found myself procrastinating (even when it comes to this blog!). Part of my procrastination stems from the fact that because I haven't found what I believe to be my purpose, I lack some enthusiasm and motivation to excel like I had my freshman year.

I came to this university so sure that I wanted to be a buyer and study Clothing and Textile Studies, but then by the last quarter, I decided to go in a slightly different direction with a Communications major and Clothing and Textiles minor. Although I altered my plans slightly, I continued to do great grades wise and I was involved. I felt like the "ideal" student; confident, intelligent, and making a difference in my community. I felt like I was going somewhere.

However now, I'm starting to feel the pressure of making decisions. We all have to come to terms with questions like "What do I want to do?" and "Where am I going?". These questions can seem very scary because half the time we are still trying to test the waters when everyone around us is telling us to jump--and graduate in four years.

So where is the light at the end of this tunnel? What do you do, when faced with uncertainty and you lack to ummph that once kept your motor running? Will I forever be one of "the young and the restless"?

One of the most important aspects of college life is self-discovery. With so many opportunities to grow through classes, organizations, dorm/apartment life, etc., you can find extensions of yourself that you may not have known to exist. It is in the self discovery that, as one with academic/career goals (I mean, that's what we're here, right?) can either affirm or lead to the direction he or she wants to take. This period is not always easy. It's filled with obstacles like procrastination, lack of motivation, negative comparison and that Stats class that keeps kicking you in the butt. I'm learning this. But one thing I have to always keep in mind, now more than ever, is that I can't beat myself up for not know the answers like "what do I want to do?". A lot of us come to universities with notions of what the�good� majors and careers are, and sacrifice our talents and interests. Although I believe in stability, there has to be a way to make money and be happy.

I'm going to find out what makes me happy. ï?Š