I’m sorry if some of my recent posts have been a bit morbid. However, the following entry has weighed heavily on my mid for the past two days, and I need to get this one out.

Just yesterday, I received a call from my distressed mother, whom owns and operates the same dance studio where my fiancé attends, exclaiming that one of her 18-year-old dance instructors had passed away in a recent automobile accident in Youngstown. Shortly after this notice, my fiancé had contacted me, expressing her concerned feelings for her departed friend and respective family. Needless to say, she was a bit shaken up…and rightfully so.

As insomnia set in last night, I couldn’t help but let my eyes wander to the only light sources in my bedroom – a blinking 12:00 on my alarm which I’ve yet to fix and my printer's HP Photosmart 7350 power button. My eyes went back and forth to each light source as if I had been watching a tennis match in my head, and indeed I was.

You see, in July of 2006 – the first summer break of my collegiate tenure – I received a disturbing email which explained that one of my freshman buddies had died inexplicably during a car crash at the hands of a drunk driver. This occurred near Cincinnati where my friend was serving as an intern for Proctor & Gamble in just his first year of college. He clearly was a model citizen - a born leader - and was destined to make this world a much better place.

I remember how upset I had felt that entire week, trying to cope to the recent news. Furthermore, I couldn’t even begin to understand the pain that others who were even closer to him (such as family, roommates, and best-friends) had been undertaking. No matter what way I tried to sum up what had happened, I continued to get the same outcome: the world had just lost a magnificent man.

I assume this to be of similar feelings that my mother and fiancé are experiencing, but that is all I can do…assume. I understand each situation is different; however, all I can do now is be a friend in time of need, just as they were to me 2 years ago.

As the days passed since that July ’06 email, I decided to look through some of my freshman year photos to attempt to recollect some of the memories that my friend and I had once shared. As I came across the picture below, I about broke into tears. It was taken just 3 days after we had first met in September ’05. Take a guess where he’s at in the photo? It seems fitting that the most noticeable in the entire group was my friend…atop my shoulders. He always did find a way to stand out from the crowd. As I said above, he was here to make the world a better place, and I now realize that his legacy continues to do that today.

Sometimes life goes exactly as planned and other times it clearly does not. Often times these plans occur perfectly, and it feels so right to wear the shoe when it fits. Other times the shoe is what it is with no opportunity for negotiation. Even though you may think it's your only option to wear this shoe, I've learned that you can decline the shoe for now. Instead, I’ve realized it’s okay to walk barefoot until you're ready for the shoe again.

It may take time, but sooner of later, we all grow accustomed to our shoes. They're made specifically for each of us, and whether we like it or not, they do fit. Until you've become accustomed to yours, it's perfectly natural to walk barefoot. I did during the summer of '06.