Back at Leo

We’ve all heard the cliché “life is a journey.” But what does that really mean? The word journey implies that there is a destination and that there will be several events along the way. When I graduated from high school, I thought I had the next few years of my life mapped out perfectly.

I would move from New York to Florida, finish my undergrad work in four years, and from there move onto Medical school. But that’s where my detailed plans sort of dropped off. I moved from New York to Florida, and began my college career at Saint Leo. As much as I loved going to school here, I started making friends at some of the larger schools in the area, and began to believe them when they said that I’d have a better chance of making it into Medical school by transferring to USF. I knew that my heart was here, and I knew that the professors at Leo were deeply devoted to my success, yet I threw logic out the window and after my sophomore year I transferred to the University of South Florida.

On paper, and in theory it did seem like a better decision for me. I figured the school’s size and location would afford me with better opportunities for internships and perhaps make me more competitive in the eyes of the deans of admissions for graduate schools. However, it was the school’s sheer size that ended up working against me, completely derailing my plans for my future. After not being able to even enroll in some of the courses I needed for my degree, the fact that I was entirely anonymous in a sea of students made me less interested in class, and I was able to justify skipping.

From there, things just began to fall apart for me. I was completely and totally lost both in my coursework and with my direction in life. Even after meeting with my advisor at USF (which took 2 weeks to schedule an appointment), I had no clear idea of where I was headed, much less how long it would take me to get there. Eventually, after two more years of spinning my wheels and getting nowhere, it occurred to me that I needed to make a change in my life again.

I remembered a time just a few years prior when I was an A student, involved on campus, working part time, and it occurred to me that that version of me was the one headed to grad school, not the person I had become. And then I began to analyze the situation. When I was at Saint Leo, my professors knew me by name, knew my career goals, and were willing to do whatever it took for me to achieve those goals. I wasn’t USF ID# 1245334226, I was Jonathan… the boy who sat next to Melissa in HON250, worked part time at CVS and aspired to go to Pharmacy school.

Today is the beginning of week two of Fall semester. This is also my third fall semester as a college Junior. As depressing as that sounds, and as much as it seems that I’ve totally wasted the last 2 years of my life, I’ve really learned a lot. First of all, I moved 1,400 miles away from my family to Saint Leo because it just felt right. I listened to myself and did what was right for me. My experience these last two years has taught me that generally, I know what’s right for me. I just need to trust myself. Ultimately it all comes back to the notion of life as a journey.

For me, I try to think of the last two years not as a waste of time, but rather an “extended learning experience.” I really think that everything happens for a reason. So with that in mind, I really appreciate what I have learned about life and about myself in the past two years, but now I think that I’m in a better place to do what I came to Florida to do; to prepare myself for a career in medicine. Transferring back to Saint Leo this semester is without a doubt the best decision I have made in a very long time. We’re only beginning the semester, but I finally feel like I’m back on track and I’ve hit the ground running. I missed Leo so much, but now everything feels right again. I’m listening to myself again, and all I can hear is “I can do this! I’m on my way to some pretty great things.” So life really is a journey. And now I can clearly see my destination.