tag:blogs.targetx.com,2009:/slu/RobinandMichaelStarinieri//253 2009-03-24T19:53:51Z Movable Type 3.34 tag:blogs.targetx.com,2009:/slu/RobinandMichaelStarinieri//253.9651 2009-03-24T19:53:05Z 2009-03-24T19:53:51Z

OK…so it has been a while since we last talked… our apologies for that… it’s simply due to so very much going on. Thinking through recently of what’s been happening all around us we are once again reminded of the...

Saint Leo University OK…so it has been a while since we last talked… our apologies for that… it’s simply due to so very much going on. Thinking through recently of what’s been happening all around us we are once again reminded of the economy and how it continues to touch us all in so many different ways. Many of the challenges that we have faced of late have been at times life-altering. And as happens with many economic challenges these too have trickled down to include our children. While we all have done the best we could to survive and maintain our financial and economic responsibilities, we have all struggled to keep our children and their education out of this pinch. However, as we certainly can attest, it seems that many parents have had to alter the financial support that they provide their children. We ourselves have struggled with giving our daughter the same allowances that she was allowed just a year ago. She did not have the same budget to work with either and has learned a greater respect for the necessities in life verses the desires. Of course we felt bad at times when the answer was no when she wanted more money for events or trips or t-shirts. However, she also realized that she did not need them to make her happy. She learned to be more creative in finding fun things to do without spending money and she learned that good friends are just there to be with you and you do not need to spend money to have a good time and a lot of laughs. “Roommate night” became something that she and her roommates looked forward to every week. This night consisted of movies, snacks and lots of talking about classes, boys, troubles, boys, clothes, boys, etc. This back-to-basic building of good friendships and honest laughter has given her more than money could buy. It has given her a true feeling of acceptance and belonging. This is something that she will remember her whole life…..Her friends. Let’s face it, we all forget to just sit and enjoy the people that make up our world. And we forget to take time to laugh, smile or just relax with them. We are all going a million miles an hour and are forced to be involved in so many different things, that it becomes easy to forget how to communicate and just truly enjoy the surroundings that you have in your immediate presence. Money does buy a lot of things, however, we do not remember that last time that a friend sent us a bill for visiting, talking and laughing. Our daughter is taking an accounting class right now. She struggles a bit with all of the formulas that are required of her to memorize and then need to apply in a required structure; however, what better way to learn the meaning of true accounting when you have to live the budgets and formulas to make your own finances work for you. We must say that she has done well with the budget that we have given her (a mistake here or there and a reminder or two) but overall she has grown in this aspect too. The truth is that when she graduates, she will need more than just “book smarts” to survive. She will be required to make her own financial decisions, her own decisions regarding priorities, her own good choices and her own mistakes. We helped our children learn to walk once, now our job is to teach them to walk again. They may fall at times and even though we are not there to literally catch them, we will always be there to help them get up again. tag:blogs.targetx.com,2008:/slu/RobinandMichaelStarinieri//253.9404 2008-11-05T21:03:43Z 2009-03-05T21:18:38Z

As the holiday season begins and the first round of finals draws closer, there are many thanks to be shared. Thank you to the staff, faculty, coaches, advisors, students and all other people in the Saint Leo University family. Your...

Saint Leo University As the holiday season begins and the first round of finals draws closer, there are many thanks to be shared. Thank you to the staff, faculty, coaches, advisors, students and all other people in the Saint Leo University family. Your constant support and outstanding efforts are appreciated so very much by the families that count on the roles you play in our children lives every day. As we all struggle through the recent economy and challenges in our personal lives, it is very comforting to know that you maintain a balance for our children as they continue to strive for college success. Saint Leo University cares so much for each and every student… and it shows every day - from the diverse and interesting events that you offer to the care packages that are available to help get our students through their finals. Our daughter continues her successes in her studies, CAB Assistant, SAID Vice-President, Cheerleading Captain and the many other organizations she is involved in. She is enjoying each and every (exhausting) day. The pride that we have for her is clearly witnessed by the smiles on our faces. So do trust us when we say we are so looking forward to having her home for the holiday season! We’re sure she’s ready for a little slow down and a holiday break too. From our family to yours, we wish you all a safe and happy holiday! tag:blogs.targetx.com,2008:/slu/RobinandMichaelStarinieri//253.9403 2008-10-08T20:59:35Z 2009-03-05T21:03:35Z

Ok, so I was just getting used to my daughter being so far away from home and the realization that she is safe. Now, I get the news that she and a few others will be traveling from one state...

Saint Leo University Ok, so I was just getting used to my daughter being so far away from home and the realization that she is safe. Now, I get the news that she and a few others will be traveling from one state to another for a four day leadership conference. I still get nervous when she leaves the driveway in her car. I know that I need to get used to her independence, however, I am still shocked by her involvement in so many things. This is the child that just yesterday, I was reminding to fill out her college applications. She is involved in so many things that I often have to ask her to put it in a text so that I can remember everything when others ask about her. I have happily discovered that she and her brother have become very close as well. They apparently talk several times a week. In most cases it’s just to compare notes about the parents rules but most of the time it’s just to say hello to each other. This may not sound like a big deal, but as a parent, you know what I am talking about. Every day the growth and maturity that we witness is very rewarding. As parents, we all love our children; the greatest reward is that we get to like the adults that they become as well. tag:blogs.targetx.com,2008:/slu/RobinandMichaelStarinieri//253.9402 2008-09-18T20:58:03Z 2009-03-05T21:02:45Z

As our daughter begins her sophomore year it is hard for us to believe that the first year of college for our youngest child is now behind us. WOW! What an amazing experience for our young lady! She has...

Saint Leo University As our daughter begins her sophomore year it is hard for us to believe that the first year of college for our youngest child is now behind us. WOW! What an amazing experience for our young lady! She has gained so much from her involvement at Saint Leo University. She feels that she has changed for the better in so many ways; she now believes in herself, her choices, her talents and her abilities. She handles her responsibilities with the level of pride and commitment that can only lead to success. There may be a bump in the road here and there however we know she will succeed. We have come to realize that each opportunity that has been presented to and earned by our daughter has in every way challenged her. With every event she is further prepared for the future and the roles ahead in both her personal and professional life. Shortly after our daughter came home for the summer, she became ill which is not normal for her. After many doctor’s visits, specialist, tests and even surgery, a firm and final diagnosis had not been reached. The doctors in Virginia requested that she delay returning to school until a diagnosis could be made. This just wouldn’t do. She decided that she would transfer all her medical issues to Florida so that she could continue her education -- uninterrupted. We were very concerned about this decision, so again, Mom took off to Florida for two months to assist her as she transferred her treatments. She has continued to meet with many specialists for this issue; however, yet again, everyone at Saint Leo has supported her in every way! Even to the point of offering to drive her back and forth to doctors if necessary. The staff and students at Saint Leo have proven again and again how much you are family once you are a member of this university. If she struggles with classes or grades, these same staff members and students help whenever possible. In this day and time when the world has very little time or patience for other people, it seems that there is a silent code of conduct within this university; one that instills the idea that taking care of your neighbor is a part of your daily responsibility. These folks demonstrate that level of character every day. It has been said to us that we have so many nice things to say about this school and the people who are involved with it and we’ve actually been asked – “…surely there must be at least one negative comment you could make…”. Well, we’ve thought about this and we can only come up with one thing…..and that would be that our daughter is always too busy to remember to call. We’ve come to the realization that having her own responsibilities, her own talents, her own ideas, her own involvements and finding her own way is a good thing. What we miss is that our daughter does not have to ask us for our opinions any longer… she has her own. That being said, we could not be more proud that she is confident in her own decisions. tag:blogs.targetx.com,2008:/slu/RobinandMichaelStarinieri//253.5959 2008-04-13T19:22:43Z 2008-04-14T16:03:08Z

It is hard to imagine that our daughter’s first year of college is just about complete! You may remember my husband and I were the parents who moved me (the mom) to Florida for a month, because our daughter was...

Robin & Michael Starinieri the parents... any help they could provide – an open offer even for us and in our personal lives. We never imagined when our daughter began her education at Saint Leo that we would meet so many wonderful and caring staff members and make so many amazing friends. When our daughter chose Saint Leo University she had no doubt in her mind. She had visited many other schools, some of which I must admit I was hoping would be her choice. Her mind was made up from the first moment she stepped foot on the Saint Leo Campus. Her father and I on the other hand thought we wanted something different for her. We were worried about several aspects of this choice: Was she certain of the environment?; was it too far from home?; what would happen if she needed us and we couldn’t be there immediately?; was the campus too small?;, would they offer her a wide variety of choices and experiences?; and, was there enough to do to keep her out of trouble? Our daughter once again proved that she knew what she wanted and that she was making a good choice and she knew it before we did. We now know that she is safe, that if anything comes up or if she gets sick, her college family rallies to her aide without hesitation or a second thought. If she is sad or down, there are many hugs to comfort her. If disappointment crosses her path, there are many pats on the back to remind her of the wonderful things she has accomplished. It is truly amazing! SLU has become her family too. We are so impressed with many of the young adults we have met over the past year and the personal character and integrity they have presented. We would also like to extend a warm and heartfelt thank you to the RA’s. You have all done such a wonderful job with our children. Your patience, your responsibility and your ability to give so much of yourself truly made a difference for every person you cared for. From the parents, we offer you a very special thank you and will forever be grateful for your presence in our child’s first year of college. It made a difference and you should be proud of yourself. To the counselor’s –thank you for everything. When we first met you, you promised that you would follow our child throughout the year (Now we have heard this before with our son and it just doesn’t seem to happen – unless there is something wrong). But you did exactly what you said you would do! Based on our experience, Kristina Deakins is a wonderful asset to your staff and you could not ask for a better SLU representative. Parents, you will want to trust her when she says that she will look after your child throughout the year… she does as she promises. Thank you for your integrity, honesty and humor. You are amazing! To Christine O’Donnell - You always have your hands full with more than any one person should. You have gone above and beyond in making the parents feel like they are family too. If we have a problem of any kind it becomes her problem too. CJ has proven not only to be a wonderful asset to Saint Leo University, but has also shown that she is amazing person inside too. Thank you for all your efforts on a personal note. You are the best! To the rest of SLU staff, educators, etc., thank you so much for welcoming our child and our family into your home. You have truly made Saint Leo University a wonderful experience! To Parents reading this - if you have a student that is considering Saint Leo and you have reservations about that decision we can relate. We have been there but based on our experience this has been an outstanding choice. So, our daughter is soon facing finals! She has done so well over this past year. She had a few breakdowns, a few setbacks and a few tears, but she is coming home proud of her accomplishments and she has grown through each and every experience. From the bottom of our hearts we are blessed to be able to say how proud of her we are! God Bless you all... ]]> tag:blogs.targetx.com,2008:/slu/RobinandMichaelStarinieri//253.5368 2008-03-14T02:38:08Z 2008-03-14T14:29:47Z

A while ago, our daughter had decided she wanted to be a part of a sorority. She was very enthusiastic when she called to describe to us what they stood for and to detail all of the wonderful people she...

Robin & Michael Starinieri you are still a part of the larger family. God Bless ]]> tag:blogs.targetx.com,2008:/slu/RobinandMichaelStarinieri//253.5366 2008-02-15T17:30:54Z 2008-03-14T14:28:06Z

So it’s February and we hear that school is running at 100mph again. Baseball has started, Basketball is still in full swing – and there’s a lot to do virtually every day. We convinced Madi’s grandparents to spend some time...

Robin & Michael Starinieri So it’s February and we hear that school is running at 100mph again. Baseball has started, Basketball is still in full swing – and there’s a lot to do virtually every day. We convinced Madi’s grandparents to spend some time in sunny Florida – what a good idea that was. The winter weather in Northern Virginia is always cold and gray. Southern Maryland is no better… so, we headed south! Way south! What better way to get away from the doldrums of another Virginia winter than to spend it in sunny Florida. We spent a little over a week escorting Madi’s grandparents around the campus and around town. They too were as impressed with the school as we were when we first came for a visit. They were able to attend a couple of basketball games and a few baseball games too. Madi wasn’t able to spend the amount of time with them as she would have liked but that’s simply due to the work load. School first, socialize second... and yes, that includes grandparents. They did however get the opportunity to watch Madi cheer – a memory I’m sure they’ll never forget. After a nice long sunny week filled with good times it was back to the realities of the daily grind – school work, commuting, jobs, etc. Spring break is just around the corner and then before you know it – finals week... tag:blogs.targetx.com,2008:/slu/RobinandMichaelStarinieri//253.5350 2008-01-15T17:00:00Z 2008-03-13T13:27:55Z

It’s funny; you wait with almost uncontrollable excitement to welcome your college students home for the holiday, however, the rush of the holiday season combined with the plans that your child has to visit all the friends that they haven’t...

Robin & Michael Starinieri It’s funny; you wait with almost uncontrollable excitement to welcome your college students home for the holiday, however, the rush of the holiday season combined with the plans that your child has to visit all the friends that they haven’t seen for a while, seem to invade any opportunity for an uninterrupted conversation. You spend much of the season bragging about your children at every holiday event. You glow as you visit all the relatives and witness the conversations they have with your child about their colleges and their experiences they have been having. You listen to the answers that your child gives to many of the questions, finding yourself learning more about your child with every answer. Then it dawns on you, the child that you dropped off at school in August has slowly turned into an independent, responsible and respectful young adult. They are changing and becoming their own person, and even to a point of surprise to you, they do know how to handle things well and they do know what they want. Talking to your child daily, knowing what they are up to or into is still a part of the daily routine. Staying involved is still just as important to keeping them on track. However, you breathe a bit easier because once the New Year has come and they head back to school, they are experienced college students. They now realize what is expected of them and what they need to do to handle that responsibility. They now realize more than ever, that it is their job and there are no excuses or reasoning in the world they can use that will explain why they’re not on track. Hard work and commitment is the key to success. (No, they aren’t just words on a plaque...) From our family to yours – Wishing you a Happy and Rewarding New Year tag:blogs.targetx.com,2007:/slu/RobinandMichaelStarinieri//253.4268 2007-12-11T16:18:48Z 2007-12-11T16:41:28Z

With the end of the semester quickly approaching, we started thinking again, about just how hard the kids have worked over the past several months. The long hours presented each day comprised of class assignments, papers, projects and tests, special...

Robin & Michael Starinieri With the end of the semester quickly approaching, we started thinking again, about just how hard the kids have worked over the past several months. The long hours presented each day comprised of class assignments, papers, projects and tests, special events, practices, weekend visits with parents and friends – and, oh yea, I almost forgot, those late-night parties. When you stop and think about just how busy they were you can imagine their relief as they wrap-up finals and prepare for a nice long Holiday break. We spent the past few days preparing too – making sure the house is loaded with all of their favorite foods, that each and every TV remote has fresh batteries, and we’ve placed large comfy pillows in strategic places throughout the house for those “I need a nap�? moments we’re sure will occur. As the semester winds down and the realization that they did “ok�? sinks in we will be reemphasizing just how first semester success has opened new doors of learning and that continued success will clear a path to better living. Enjoy the break – enjoy the time with family and friends – enjoy those naps. Savor every moment of the Holidays – that next semester grind is waiting just around the corner for you to conquer it too. Peace and Joy of the Holidays to you all. tag:blogs.targetx.com,2007:/slu/RobinandMichaelStarinieri//253.4086 2007-11-30T23:28:54Z 2007-12-03T12:58:13Z

After a long 12 weeks, I finally got my baby home during the Holiday. She slept in her own bed, took the longest showers in history and had her favorite breakfast request every morning. She caught up with old friends...

Robin & Michael Starinieri "bleeping" out all the bad words and as she tells us of some of the things that her and her friends do, I recall doing with my friends at her age. Although she’s growing up she is still and will always be my “little girl�?. ]]> tag:blogs.targetx.com,2007:/slu/RobinandMichaelStarinieri//253.4033 2007-11-27T23:49:20Z 2007-11-28T13:17:29Z

Thanksgiving for us always conjures up memories of days gone by. Days when we were kids sitting at the “kids table�? because so many relatives and friends joined us for a wonderful dinner. A dinner prepared by caring parents, aunts,...

Robin & Michael Starinieri Thanksgiving for us always conjures up memories of days gone by. Days when we were kids sitting at the “kids table�? because so many relatives and friends joined us for a wonderful dinner. A dinner prepared by caring parents, aunts, cousins, the whole crew. Everyone was always in high spirits and it seemed that they all pitched-in and participated in one way or another. No one was left out… no one. As we got older and started hosting the Thanksgiving celebration ourselves we realized early on just how much hard work preparing that meal can be. Preparations made weeks in advance to ensure everything is “just right�?. There’s the traditional turkey, the stuffing, potatoes – lots and lots of potatoes, sweet and mashed, green beans, cranberries, and so on and so on. And let’s not forget about the desserts! Pies! Lots of them… Apple, Sweet Potato, Fudge Nut and yes, even Jell-O. Finally, once all the work was completed you got a moment to sit down, relax and take a small break to enjoy the meal – a wonderful meal with family and friends. But then, just when you thought all the work was done… CLEAN UP DUTY! All of that hard work to prepare the meal – seemingly only a small break to enjoy it and then, back to work cleaning and cleaning. I’ll tell you, there were dishes I didn’t even know we had out on some table somewhere beckoning to be washed, dried and put away again. In the end it was worth it and bear in mind, this isn’t a complaint just an observation we had this year. You see, as we were yet again preparing a week or so in advance for this annual celebration it came to mind how Madison, Jordon and the other students are going through much of the same cycle. The Work, Rest, Work Cycle however on a much larger scale. We thought a lot Thanksgiving week about how much work Madi and all the students have been doing to prepare for their end of semester “celebration�?. They've worked hard for weeks on end doing whatever it takes to get the job done. Preparing everything each and every day and getting it all done on time (hopefully) so that she too can take a small break and enjoy time with family and friends. Then, here too, it’s back to work… preparing and studying for finals and the end of the semester celebration. We realized this year that the cycle is the same it’s just the timing and size that's different. We prepare for a week or so for a brief hour or two of rest and celebration and then back to work – the kids, they prepare for many, many weeks on end – for a small break during Thanksgiving week and then back at the books for finals. Then another break at the end of the semester – and the cycle will start all over again. I don't believe this has really changed over time but our having both of our students home for an extended period for the first time this year simply brought this out in real-life clarity. Ok, so, no complaints kids… remember, that in the end when it's "just right" it will be worth it. tag:blogs.targetx.com,2007:/slu/RobinandMichaelStarinieri//253.3706 2007-11-07T02:57:16Z 2007-11-07T12:29:01Z

As the novelty of the “empty nest�? syndrome settles down; we have had many reminders that our children still need our full attention, direction and guidance. This is a big leap for our kids as they embrace the opportunities of...

Robin & Michael Starinieri When you join these clubs remember to allow time for friends, family, homework and ah, yes, yourself. Explore everything and find something that interests you but remember you are only one person with many responsibilities now. If you don’t sign up for that club this year, maybe you can try it again next year. Education is first and foremost, it will bring you your future. Clubs, organizations, social settings fall into the memories category; these bring you -the smile in your future. At times the collision between independence and parental rules will still challenge your relationship at times; however, our job is still to be the parent. As for those college payments, OK - so we have had a few more meals at home over these past few months. However, I just keep reminding myself that this is an investment not a hardship. ]]> tag:blogs.targetx.com,2007:/slu/RobinandMichaelStarinieri//253.3705 2007-10-10T01:29:44Z 2007-11-07T12:26:14Z

My last entry related to letting go, getting used to being an “empty nester�? and the fears of the unknown. Although I continue to work on all of these issue along with it comes yet another new experience. Now you...

Robin & Michael Starinieri My last entry related to letting go, getting used to being an “empty nester�? and the fears of the unknown. Although I continue to work on all of these issue along with it comes yet another new experience. Now you must first understand a few things about our past (knowing that you will relate by replacing words in my sentences as needed). Like most parents these days my husband and I have tried very hard to expose our children to many new and exciting opportunities. Along with their involvement, being a parent of the 21st century, my husband and I also got involved every step of the way. We have been boy scout den leaders (yes, even mom was in an appropriate uniform), we have been girl scout leaders (sorry to break the visual, but dad did not wear that uniform), we have been room parents in school, drivers in the parades, fundraisers, homework helpers and cheerleading coaches (in both meanings of the word). We have put a lot of energy into the definition of family and considerably went out of our way to make sure that all of us were together to support each other regardless of who had the spotlight that day. Even though we have shared so much together, I always thought that my relationship as a mom was different from that of a dad and a child. I felt that my children could and would come to me with the most important issues in their lives and it was then up to me to offer it to their dad at the right moment. My children and I would always have these intimate conversations and they would reveal (what they thought) were their biggest secrets (occasionally, they would surprise me). When my son was a little boy and going through some very difficult emotional times, he could not talk about, we came up with an idea to write things in a notebook. He would write his feelings and thoughts then place it under my pillow, then I would respond and put it under his pillow. This way, he did not have to feel embarrassed no matter what the topic was and I would not make the mistake of belittling his feelings with a flip, quick, in-a-moment’s response. It worked out very well and got him through some uncomfortable times. My daughter and I would talk in her room at the end of everyday. She would give me all the latest on everyone and we would talk about how she was doing. We would talk through anything she wanted. We would have girl’s night out (nails, hair, shopping, etc.) and constantly chat about the day’s events and issues. As I am struggling to get used to my children not being around, I have also found myself faced with the fact that they are calling dad to discuss concerns or anything that might be on their mind. They are calling him several times a day. I do get a phone call or two, however, I get the quick conversations and the “I’m fines�?, I never seem to get the heart-to-heart conversations. Now, Dads, you might be thinking – Venus vs. Mars or that father’s have those conversations too. I am sure that many or most of you do. However, when it is the normal for one parent to be familiar with these “sharing times�?, it seems as though something else has been taken from you that was special between you and your child. I wanted so badly to get upset with my daughter and ask her why she was pulling away. I wanted to know just what I had done to deserve this treatment. But I have just begun to realize that although I was the emotional support in our household, her father was her protector. She feels safe with him and by him. I believe that her reaching out to him through these phone conversations may be her way of feeling safe. I have often asked her why she seems to be so distant. I tend to forget that she has a lot going on in her life right now. That as much as I am trying to find out who I am now, she is trying even harder to do the same thing. There is a plaque that I have on the wall in my kitchen, it reads, “There are only two lasting bequests we can give our children – one is roots, the other wings�?. I have done my best to raise my children with this in mind. I never imagined that the hardest thing that I could learn to give my child was space. I have taught her right from wrong to the best of my ability. I have witnessed her make good choices. I have loved her with all my heart. Now, I must learn to sit back and watch her spread her wings. It is now her time to show me the person that I have worked so hard to teach. Together, you and I must have done well so far, after all, we are sending our children off to better themselves even farther, and so far, they have made it. tag:blogs.targetx.com,2007:/slu/RobinandMichaelStarinieri//253.3704 2007-09-17T01:08:56Z 2007-11-07T12:23:58Z

My story begins in September with my daughter’s first day of school in her senior year of high school. We have experienced so many of these days; however, on that day there was something different in the air. I realized...

Robin & Michael Starinieri first day of school under my wing. Her next - first day of school would be in a different place, with different surroundings and with people she didn’t know. Each day of her senior year in high school brought new information about colleges and different responsibilities that only she could manage in order to get into the college of her choice. She has always talked about going away to college (Georgia, Kentucky, and Indiana) and I suppose that I silently hoped that she would end up at a school closer to home. We visited many colleges during the year and my daughter fell in love with one school above all others – Saint Leo University in Florida. In December 2006, my daughter received a package from Saint Leo University in Florida. It was a conditional acceptance letter. She began crying tears of joy from excitement. At that moment, I was both excited and scared to death and I immediately began to worry because I knew that she was going to be too far away. As I stated above, the letter that my daughter received from Saint Leo was a conditional acceptance letter. The condition was that she must participate in a summer program at the Saint Leo campus in Florida. This program was called “Leap�?. My daughter had received acceptance letters from several colleges and this was the only school to impose this condition. However, this was the school she wanted to go to. After contacting the school, we received all the details regarding the Leap program and my daughter accepted the offer. So we prepared for her to leave earlier than her other friends to begin her career in college. My husband and I have always gone above and beyond the necessary means to see to it that our children are in a safe environment. We could never be comfortable with our child being that far from home in a new world and have no extension what so ever. Therefore, I was about to leave early to begin my daughter’s career in college too. I am lucky and have a very large support group. My husband and I purchased a home in Florida, approximately 20 miles from the school. I arranged to network my business between Florida and Virginia and I trusted my home in Virginia to my husband and son. (That was another scary story ) My husband drove our daughter and myself to Florida, hauling a trailer full of supplies for both of us. He stayed for the weekend, ran several errands between the college campus and our new home and then, he made the 900 mile trip back home, alone. I know that this was an extreme move on the part of a parent; however, we could not be comfortable leaving her in a new city, at a new school, with only a hand full of students instead of a campus full. I am blessed by the opportunity to have been able to make it work. The decision to make this move was for her father and me more than it was for our daughter. My daughter and I were about to begin a new experience. So I thought. You see, once my daughter started at Saint Leo, she was so busy and the school made sure to schedule many programs, that I never had a chance to see her. I offered to pick her up and buy dinner or take her here or there or just to let her stay at the house with me. She almost always said “no�?, she always had other plans. She had made so many friends and was enjoying her classes so much; she simply didn’t need me to be there. Now, I have to admit that I was unsure how to handle this. I was glad for her excitement and independence; however, I was also unsure what to do with the fact that she didn’t need me anymore. The Residence Assistants did a wonderful job of looking out for her and keeping things in line. I actually found myself not only depending on these “RA’s�? but also trusting them. This says a lot for a mom that would move from one state to the other for a summer program. You may think that I am crazy for going to this extreme; however, I am so glad that I did. You see, I had the experience that not all parents get. I got to know the area around the school, the hot spots that the students “hang out�? in and the people in the area. I found them all to be very easy to get to, safe and very pleasant. Everyone respects the areas that “you don’t go to�? and the city is full of very nice people, always smiling and always offering a “hello�?. I stopped by the campus once or twice and there was always an “RA�? available. So, I became comfortable with the area myself. It helps, because now I know and can picture where she is going. The one decision I did make while I was down there was that my daughter would not have her car on campus. As a freshman, the only place she would be allowed to drive would be off campus. I did not want her driving the city until she knew it better. However, if you choose to allow your child a car as a freshman, be assured that getting around is easy, it is basically a large circle. Please note that the speed limits are to be respected. There have been several accidents on “Curly Rd�?, some even fatal, and the highways are very fast. This is to be respected at all times. If they are in no hurry and respect the rules, they will be fine. I personally will not allow my daughter her car until she gets to know people and the area first. Now the summer program is over, we are home for a couple weeks and then my husband and I must bring her back and leave her there alone. My next biggest fear is that I will be coming home and thrust into an instant “empty nest�?. You see our son, who is older than my daughter has also moved out to attend college at Virginia Commonwealth University (VCU) in Richmond, VA. So, when I return home, my whole life will be different. My kids were my best friends; they kept me busy, drove me crazy and kept me young. I hear many people say that they can’t wait for their kids to leave so that they can be on their own, not us. We truly enjoyed our kids – we like the people they have become. They taught me something new every day. I’m more afraid of my days becoming routine. So, I drive my kids crazy by requesting that they call me at least twice a day. I ask that they call once in the morning and once at the end of the day when they are back in their respective homes for the evening. Yes, this drives them crazy, however, I remind them that this is not to check up on them, this is what I need to get used to the idea that they are not under my wing anymore. I assure them that eventually, I won’t require so much upkeep. In the meantime, we review what “budget�? means to mom and dad and that curfews are still to be respected (compromising of course). Learning to let go on my side, learning to have limited independence on their side all the while getting an education; these are today’s experiences. So where to from here? I was not sure I would know who I was without my kids. I only know how to be mom. Although, I am having a few struggles with my days not being engulfed in teenage issues, picking up after everyone again and again. Having fears that maybe my daughter won’t still need me, that my son will still think of mom and call to say “hi�? and, will my husband remember my name, are all finding their place. So, I’ve learned that I have some growing to do. I have to find out who I am without being so needed.]]>