Misconceptions...
As a child you are always told not to rely on first impressions. This is generally good advice. It is reliable and will often prove itself useful. Now, you may be wondering to yourself “if this is such good advice, then why don’t people follow this advice?” Well that puzzles me as well. I have had many situations in the past where either I was judged too harshly on a first impression or I judged too harshly on a first impression. I believe that we make those first time assumptions about people for two reasons. One, we need a basis of judgment for our next encounter and two, we have a need to categorize our thoughts and labeling people allows your mind to do that.
The problem with first impressions is that they are often wrong or at least misguided. For example, I often come across as a little harsh and distant when you first meet me, but when you get to know me I am the opposite of that. Once a person has multiple interactions with someone they are able to form a new and more guided opinion of them. They form opinions based on multiple interactions and therefore those opinions are more credible. Yet, even after having many interactions you cannot truly know what a person is like or whether your view of them is correct or not. This is why we form relationships, in an effort to become closer to people and solidify our conceptions of them.
This lends itself to the college atmosphere where everyone thinks they know everything about everyone and where gossip runs through campus like blood through your body. This is not to say that all gossip is bad. Gossip can have its good points. It is a good way to get people involved and interested. Most people do not realize how much gossip invades their life. They start forming opinions about people they have never even met or changing opinions about friends without verifying their facts. This is a rule I like to call “Facts Not In Evidence”. Court cases are primarily based on evidence and when “facts” are brought up that are not previously in evidence they are objected by “facts not in evidence”. That is what I call a situation in which a person alters his or her perception of someone based on “facts” that they themselves have not verified.
Most of what I just described was started in high school and when you get to college it is stepped up a notch and refined. This is not to say that college is nothing but gossip and false image. College is a time to expand your mind to the world around you. It is a time to experience all that you can in a short amount of time. College can be the most rewarding time in your life or it can be the worst experience of your life. I personally believe the reason most people hate their jobs is because of the way they got their job, whether it be because they had no choice and needed the money or be it coming off of a bad college experience. The reason I believe this is because the people who truly love there jobs are not doing it because they need the money and they are not doing it because they went to school for it. They are doing it for the pure enjoyment of it. That’s all anyone is looking for out of life. College is a big part of most people’s lives and most people will never truly appreciate everything they learned in school in or out of the classroom.
“The moral of the story” is that if you let the little things (gossip) get to you, you will end up miserable.