Trinity University

You know something I'm really grateful for right now?

The gag reflex.

You wanna know why?

Just now, I was walking from the dining hall (I can't call it a cafeteria anymore) with my eggy burrrrrrritoooo in hand and I decided to reach into the tortilla and grab a little nibble of egg. Little did I know, that nibble of egg would soon threaten my life.

So as I continued on my walk with burrito in hand, cheeks bulging with egg and the air created by my happy whistling, a funny thing happened.

(Wow. I should be more careful with my diction. I know a few people who would read that last sentence, and look back on the word "cheeks" and screw up their faces with suppressed laughter.)

You know how sometimes, when you're drinking beverages, you get so excited about the beverage you're drinking but also the prospect of perhaps drinking more beverages in the future that you breathe in really quickly and the beverage gleefully flies down into your lungs? I think that happened to me. But I was drinking no beverage. This is the difference: the kind of egg that you put into a tortilla in hopes of calling it a burrito is not liquid.

I'm always personifying things: this egg took advantage of my excitement and sudden breath by growing arms and legs. Arms and legs it decided to use for clinging. Clinging to throat parts.

I'm always personifying things: this egg probably was so excited about growing clinging arms and legs that it also grew a smile and happy eyes it used to look delighted as it clung to my throat parts.

I'm always personifying things: this is when my throat parts grew a frown and decided to take action.

And as my throat parts grew a frown, my eyes went wide and I realized, not as happily as the egg, that "Hey! I'm kind of choking!"

And my life flashed before my eyeses as I thought that this might be my last time to ever walk on a sidewalk and be excited about food or beverage or the combination of the two.

But no! Out of spite, my gag reflex happened and my throat parts kicked the egg in its happy face, out of my mouth. And I, out of spite, angled my eyebrows down, pushed the probably-not-so-happy-anymore egg to the front of my mouth, where my canines promptly minced it into more manageable pieces. And I swallowed again, and was happy.

I'm always personifying things because I don't know any better. It is quite possible that all these things happened in my mouth. To tell me otherwise is to spoil my imagination. Unfortunately, I can never enjoy any of these images in three dimensions because such things cannot be imagined without converting normal existance into cartoon existance.

And so Trinity is a place in which scenes happen that could not possibly happen in other colleges and that could not possibly be portrayed in such astounding melodrama.

The end.