i am glad you finally decided to read this (it’s about time), but first you should take a moment to mentally prepare yourself before i change your life forever.
i’ll wait here.

...

okay, here are the pertinent facts:
the title of this entry holds no truth and has nothing to do with anything, i only used it to get your attention...and it worked.
my name is madi (and I don't care how its spelled, it's just a name.)
i am a student at trinity university
and i know everything there is to know about college, the world, life, and dragons: so listen up.

now, first things first (because second things will never come first) my abridged rules of life are as follows:
1. Never participate in a sport where you can be eaten.
2. Never get on a carnival ride that can be set up in half an hour.
3. Never partake in activities where flying objects exceed speeds of 100 mph.
4. Always pack one completely unimportant item in each checked suitcase to ensure the bag’s safe arrival at your final destination. (You never lose the suitcase with the unimportant stuff in it.)
5. Never eat anything that grows on the North side of a tree.
6. Make your weakness appear as strengths.

next, a list of important facts you’ll want to commit to memory:
I hate feet. I talk to myself in accents. I have a dent in my head. I don’t like out-of-control rubber bands or fire. I drink orange juice for breakfast. My socks don’t match (and they never will, Mom). I don’t believe in luck. I am allergic to cinnamon and dragons. I always lose bets. Always. I’m awkward with babies. I can’t spell the word anamonous. My rules is the grammar rules by which I abide only. Five is the best number. Ketchup packets are annoying. Chocolate and mint shouldn’t go together. and hamsters are pointless.

so welcome to this world, my world, hope you enjoy it.

that is all.
madz