We're already in February. Exactly how and when did this happen? Despite the fact that this spring semester (and my FINAL semester, I might add) is still in its beginning weeks, things picked up, took off, and already I'm feeling a bit behind. I guess that's the price you pay when you choose to save a couple dollars and order from Amazon. The books can sometimes take their time in getting to you. But anyway, I've got that early semester optimism....I'll catch up.

I almost feel like there was no winter break. The holidays came, they went, but unfortunately they didn't bring much down time. I was still having to make up missed time from when I was in Galveston and so only had a few days off from field. So there was that...but even more than that was the minimester. Let me back up. Ok, so the five other Maternal and Child Health Leadership Development scholars and I developed a two-day minimester on the issue of HIV/AIDS--specifically how it relates to women. The work that this minimester required was considerable--essentially the entire fall semester was spent preparing for it. Fortunately it proved to be a complete success. About 80 students from the various professional schools on the UMB campus attended....we had phenomenal speakers, some of whom shared their expertise, some of whom shared their personal struggles and stories of HIV/AIDS. It was a powerful experience, and I felt proud to have been involved with it. Proud but exhausted. More reasons as to why I didn't feel much of the break: the little family that I have is local, so I didn't leave Baltimore for any extended period of time. I hope it doesn't sound like I'm complaining. Not at all. Baltimore is feeling more and more like home. I'm putting roots down, and feel settled. It was nice to be here.

Alright, I now need to take a little time and vent...get some of my stressors out and hopefully leave some of them out...out of my head and onto my little compute screen. To put it simply, I feel stressed with the fact that I'll be graduating soon. It's very exciting--don't get me wrong. I certainly don't want to be on any graduate school plan that exceeds two years. I've worked hard, I've learned a lot, and I feel ready for the next step. The problem is simple....I have no idea what that next step will be. I'm not sure what kind of job I want to look into getting. I'm not even sure where I want to live...Baltimore? DC? Overseas? I keep waiting for an ephiphany...a moment of YES!! This is it!!! This is what I want to do and this is where I want to do it!!! But I don't think I've ever had a moment like that. I think with everything I've ever done there's always been at least a few question marks in the back of my mind....is this a good idea? Will this work? Will this satisfy me? As this door has opened, what others have closed? I spoke about it with a good friend of mine tonight who's been planning to move to Hawaii for a few months now. She's beginning to have second thoughts, cold feet, some real hesitation. She and I did Peace Corps together, and she's now beginning to wonder if being close to her family might trump the beauty and adventure that Hawaii holds. She and I are both at a crossroads...having to make some serious choices, rule things out, open new doors. But at the same time we're not. Not yet. This crossroads can wait a little bit. At least until tomorrow...at best until graduation. Signing off, friends. Hope you're all fantastic.