"We want to be professionals: heal the sick, help the poor, teach the ignorant, and organize the scattered. But the temptation is that we use our expertise to keep a safe distance from that which really matters and forget that, in the long run, cure without care is more harmful than helpful." -Henri Nouwen

I really want to get my application for next year's internship done before classes start next week. I also really want to get this handed in as early as possible because there is one particular internship I really really want next year (your first year of internship the school picks for you, though they do look at your interests and match accordingly. I was surprised at how well I was matched--I said teenagers, I got teenagers. The second year you list your top 3 choices, and they try to get you one of those). The application consists of a resume, an essay on how my past experiences influenced me to get my MSW, and an essay on my career goals. I have most of these done, but I have gotten stuck on my first essay where I am trying to explain why I continue to want to work with teenagers and their parents based on my experience at my internship.

Why DO I want to keep working with these delinquent youth? They have little respect for women, many don't wash regularly, they sweat all the time (I really meant to write "swear" there, but they do sweat alot too--ha!), and many only care about themselves. I can plan ahead for the day, but I can never know what may happen that day because my students may be cheerful or they may be threatening someone with a stapler. Yet when people say, "Oh, I could never do what you're doing. I don't know how you do it," I think to myself, they're not so bad. A good amount of the time I really enjoy being with these students. They are funny, raw, and real. There is beauty and strength to be found in them. You just have to look really hard and then have lots of patience to find that strength again. And the more I get to know them, I see how a lot of what they do are reactions to fear and built up anger.

So, I guess the reason I persist in wanting to counsel youth, even they they frustrate me everyday, is that I care. Some days I don't want to care so I could go do something else, but I do care. I believe that every one of them has worth and a purpose given by God--how could I ignore that? If God loves them, so shall I. Sure I could keep doing social work without having to care about my clients. I could ask the right questions, use tried and true therapeutic games, and do well every day. But if I don't give a damn, then none of it matters.

"What we see, and like to see, is cure and change. But what we do not see and do not want to see is care: the participation in the pain, the solidarity in suffering, the sharing in the experience of brokenness. And still, cure without care is as dehumanizing as a gift given with a cold heart."-Henri Nouwen

Peace to you,
Sharon

(Quote in the title is from 2 Corinthians 13)